Pain

I wonder how many people even visit this blog anymore. I don't hardly ever visit it myself! If only internet in Africa was a bit more accessible. :) I don't even have the energy to write a long post pouring out all the things I have been learning. I'm so emotionally drained that merely finding the words to express my thoughts is too much.
Pain, suffering, and perserverence are the daily routine all of my neighbors here. The focus is on survival. How, oh God, do they keep going, keep smiling, every day? I want to know that strength for myself. All of the securities God's blessed me with--family, food, money--keep me from realizing my full dependence on God. I don't need any securities. Those things are only blessings. All I need to even survive is God. Lord, don't let my dependence on daily bread overtake my dependence on the one providing it.